It’s very rare that you come across a shirt that is your exact style, and even rarer that such a shirt is available at a very reasonable price. Right now, one of the best Dan Flashes shirts is available for just $30, which is hundreds of dollars less than what we’d pay for it. And it’s not even on sale! We don’t even need to spend our per diems on it and can eat a full meal again for the first time in a week.

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We heard this shirt usually costs $150 out the door if you go to the Dan Flashes store in person, and there’s even a shirt that costs $1000 because the pattern’s so wild. That’s how they value the shirt. It’s better to buy the shirt online, however, lest you get thrown down the stairs by the other aggressive customers.

After you get the shirt delivered, we recommend eating something. If it’s a hot dog, make sure you’re in a safe environment where you can eat it without having to hide it. If you do have to hide it, make sure you have a vacuum-powered hot-dog-removal device available, otherwise you might get fired from your job and they’ll say it’s for a completely unrelated reason from everyone not being able to stop laughing.