“I’m not Tom Sandoval’s sidekick; I’m not just Katie’s ex-husband. I’m Tom Schwartz,” the reality star tells Rolling Stone
For years, Tom Schwartz has been known on Vanderpump Rules for being “one of the Toms,” half of a duo with his longtime best friend Tom Sandoval. The Toms have opened bars together, built businesses, and created personal and professional identities around their friendship. It was a solid game plan until the world turned on Sandoval last year after learning about his months-long affair with Rachel Leviss. Seemingly simply as a result of being “one of the Toms,” Schwartz also found himself on the outs for sticking by his friend (and maybe, definitely playing a part in the Scandoval deception).
Schwartz’s friendship with the rest of the Vanderpump cast took a hit, and his relationship with Sandoval’s ex, Ariana Madix, dissolved completely. Schwartz and Sandy’s, his shared bar and restaurant with Sandoval, also took the brunt of the fallout when people began spamming Yelp with bad reviews as a way to support Madix and tear down Sandoval.
When cameras picked back up filming for Season 11 of VPR, Schwartz found himself in unchartered territory, having to navigate damaged relationships and rebuild his own reputation apart from Sandoval, all while dealing with personal struggles of his own. As James Kennedy said in the first episode of this season: “You’re your best Tom when you’re just Tom Schwartz.”
But on a whirlwind press day full of interviews, one would have no idea the highs and lows Schwartz has been through this past year. He is all smiles over Zoom, visiting New York City to be a guest on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live after Tuesday night’s episode of VPR airs. And the cheery disposition isn’t a facade. “I’m just feeling full of gratitude,” Schwartz tells Rolling Stone. “I’m on a bit of a wave right now after a pretty gloomy past few years, I’m riding kind of high.”
But before we go any further, dear reader, we owe it to you to be honest: before the interview began, Schwartz’s publicist made it clear that he would not be commenting on Sandoval’s unhinged New York Times interview published Tuesday morning in which he compared the media attention surrounding Scandoval to O.J. Simpson and George Floyd. We did try to ask, though.
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Schwartz did, however, open up about his post-Scandoval identity crisis, his momentary thoughts of quitting the show altogether, and why he keeps defending Sandoval to the rest of the world.
Ultimately, he just wants people to know: “I’m not Tom Sandoval’s sidekick, I’m not just Katie’s ex husband. I’m Tom Schwartz.”
How did it feel returning to film Season 11 of Vanderpump Rules with all the added attention from Scandoval?
People usually use the word traumatizing so loosely, but it was kind of traumatizing and daunting. I don’t want to be singing a sad song too much, but at some point, I really was adversely affected by that whole thing. I kind of went into hiding. I didn’t turn into a full-blown recluse, but I was a bit of a hermit and a basket case — and not just because of the incident and having my reputation severely tarnished because of someone else’s actions, but other stuff was going on with my family, and I was still coming out of the divorce. I was just fucking sad, to be honest, having almost lost loved ones. When your family’s not doing well it’s really hard to enjoy the little things in life or to go about your business. It’s hard to be present during those moments when your loved one is sick. I gotta be honest, I kind of lost myself the past year or two. I did. I had a bit of an identity crisis. I’m happy to say I think I’m back.
During the first few episodes of this season, you opened up about your dad’s health scare and your brother’s battle with addiction. What made you decide to share that on the show?
When you’re doing the show, although when you’re in the trenches, it can be horrific, ultimately, after each season, I feel it’s cathartic. This is kind of my therapy. I don’t have a designated therapist. I haven’t sought professional help, but filming the show was an opportunity for me to use my friends as surrogate therapists and open up to them in a way that I don’t usually. Not that I’m not emotionally available. I am. But I just don’t like to burden people with my problems.
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Are you open to actual therapy?
Heck, yeah.
You said watching your brother struggle with alcoholism made you reevaluate your own drinking habits. Is that something you’re still thinking about and working through?
Yeah. When I said, I was sober, curious. I meant that in the most positive way, not in a gimmicky way. When I’m sober, I go hard in the paint. I love waking up early, working out, having green tea and matcha, detoxing, eating healthy, and intermittent fasting; I like all that stuff. But I also like falling apart. I think it’s good to fall apart once in a while, you know, and ultimately, moderation is key. Hopefully, it will be a cautionary tale for other people watching the show. It’s a fine line between being a social drinker and becoming a problem drinker, and then, at some point, the lines can blur. What happened with my brother was very gradual. He was a social drinker for so long, but he did suffer from PTSD, and he used drinking as a kind of a crutch or a numbing agent to sort of heal after that. When you wake up one day and you are literally dependent on alcohol, it’s insane. I witnessed it firsthand and you become a kind of a slave to booze, your whole day revolves around it, and it’s a nasty disease. If you’re hearing this and you think you might have a problem, get some help, go to rehab, get counseling. My brother was all but dead. They stamped his medical records with hospice. But now he’s got his glow back; he’s got his spirit back.
You mentioned going through an identity crisis amid Scandoval. What were those months like?
I think I cowered under the unrelenting hate and just getting roasted online so much. If you’re not going through it, you might just think, okay, just don’t look at the internet, stay off social media. But I use that as a tool to market businesses that I’m associated with and brand building, and, I don’t know, it’s hard not to sometimes. There’s a morbid curiosity. At the peak of it, sometimes I would look at the top three DMs, and I was like, oh my God. They are so scary. Just caustic, nasty stuff. I’m usually a very chill dude. I’m diplomatic. Sometimes, I’m chill to a fault. I had never been under so much scrutiny, and it was scary. I think it broke me. Alright, you guys on the internet. You broke me. I hope you’re happy. But I’m back.
Did you consider quitting Vanderpump Rules?
I remember one moment in particular when I just felt like I was drowning in negativity. I felt like [Schwartz & Sandy’s] had been severely compromised. The future of the bar was questionable at best; I had sunk so much money in there, and I felt so bleak and despondent. There might have been a few hopeless moments, even though it might have just been a performative thing, where I was like, “I think I’m good. I think I’m ready to step away and pursue something new. I can’t deal with this anymore.” But I would wake up the next day and be like, wait, I love this. I love my Bravo family. I love the people that I get to work with. These are my friends, and these are my family. I don’t think of us as just a cast. I freaking love these people. ‘Till death do us part.
You recently appeared on Nick Viall’s podcast, The Viall Files, with Tom Sandoval. What did you think of people’s reaction to the podcast? Some people were really upset with your friend.
People were pretty nice to me, actually. They were very positive. Apparently, I held [Sandoval] accountable, but I was also supportive. I didn’t realize it until afterward, but he was up all night, and he was on a bit of a bender. You never know when grief is going to strike, but for whatever reason, it just hit him that night. He was in such a manic whirlwind for so long. I don’t know if he ever had a proper moment to really mourn the loss of his childhood best friend, Ali. It’s not excusing him for showing up late and half-buzzed, half-baked, or whatever it was, but in hindsight, I kind of feel bad because afterward, I really leaned into him. I was like, dude, you fucking embarrassed me. I was upset, but he broke it down for me and told me why, and then I felt like I couldn’t stay mad at someone because it’s such a relatable thing. Grieving someone, a loved one you’ve lost, and maybe hitting the bottle is something I’m sure we’ve all done at some point.
You’re regularly in situations where you’re forced to defend Sandoval or explain things on his behalf. How do you deal with that?
I lowkey had a mini identity crisis at the peak [Scandoval]. My life had become so mired in someone else’s life. It was a trip. It was a mind F. I just have to remind people, I’m not Tom Sandoval’s sidekick, I’m not just Katie’s ex husband. I’m Tom Schwartz. I love those people, but there’s so much more to me than that. One thing that really sucked was having to constantly answer and report on someone else’s life, someone else’s affair, that was just not mine. It was hard. My stories would change, and I would flip-flop depending on the day, but it was just hard for me. It caused me to have some sort of brain damage, honestly.
Should I be on Sandoval’s payroll? Should I be getting 10%? I didn’t want to make it a point to be out there defending, campaigning, or advocating for Team Sandoval, but I just wanted to remind people that he’s not a monster and not to retroactively tear apart the man’s entire life and everything he’s ever done. I mean, the guy was on suicide watch at one point. It was way overboard. The Internet took it way overboard on Tom Sandoval, in my opinion.
Have you been watching this season so far? Does it feel different to you compared to past seasons?
Yeah. There’s a lot of gravitas. It’s high stakes, and some people were really hurt. In the history of our group dynamic, this is probably the biggest chasm ever. It kind of tore apart our group dynamic, but I like to think that we’re slowly rebuilding. I think I’m in a pretty good place with everybody, and I think there are some really special episodes coming up. The trip to Lake Tahoe is borderline spiritual to me. I think it was a success. I think people just stopped not being upset with Tom but stopped vilifying him and dehumanizing him. He’s not a worm with a mustache.
What do you think the future of the show looks like? Can you see everyone wanting to continue filming together?
Yeah, definitely. I really like mine and Katie’s dynamic this year. You’ll see, we have some fun, playful competition. I’m really enjoying witnessing it in real time but also watching it back and seeing people navigate life after being in long-term relationships and having some pretty horrific breakups, Tom and Ariana, Lala and Randall, who else am I missing? Do we have any relationships that have survived our ten years of Vanderpump? I’m also excited to revitalize our business and give it another shot at life because we were on life support. And I’m excited for [Maloney and Madix’s sandwich shop] Something About Her to finally open.
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Will we see you film in Schwartz and Sandy’s this season?
You’ll hear us allude to it, but we actually didn’t film there this season for a variety of reasons. At one point, we were terrified about the future of the business. It just became a complete spectacle. It felt like the right decision to suspend filming there because we were on the ropes and we were having an existential crisis. If the show continues on, we will be filming there for sure. And I’m really excited for Something About Her to open, and Tom Tom is still thriving. I still feel like there’s so much more to this group.
After your experience filming Fox’s Stars on Mars last summer, would you ever want to do other reality TV shows?
That was a stellar moment, a bright spot in an otherwise kind of dark and twisted year. Yes, without a doubt, unequivocally yes. I like The Traitors and I’m manifesting this: a little guest appearance or a cameo on Top Chef.
