Welcome to Welcome to IF I DID IT where we analyze and solve PR kerfuffles from the MMA world and beyond. This week we look at Conor McGregor’s campaign of world conquest, Eddie Alvarez’ explanation, Wanda Sykes melt down, Michael Moore’s call for celebrity engagement, more. This week’s kerfuffles include:

At 1:05 – You’re WME-IMG. After Conor McGregor made history with a two title, gate breaking Madison Square Garden performance, he announced his hunger…for a slice of your pie. “I need to be set for life with this. If you want me to be truly in on this, then I need to be all in this, proper, as owner, have an equity stake in the company.” With Thanksgiving approaching, do you offer him a seat at your table, the kiddie table, or under the table…eating your crumbs?

At 14:16 – You’re a UFC fighter. Conor wants equity, Cowboy Cerrone wants to unionize. How you
publicly get what you want?

At 22:42 – You’re Eddie Alvarez. After losing your title to Conor McGregor on Saturday night, explain the PR strategy for going on Instagram today and posting that you “blew it … I did nothing I trained , I did the complete opposite of what we planned on a daily basis for 10 weeks” instead of silently suffering.

At 35:58 – You are a member of “the world’s largest sex & swinger community” also known as Adult Friend Finder. The Verge reported that over three hundred million accounts were breached in a massive hack including current and deleted user email addresses, passwords, usernames, IP addresses and browser information. How do you publicly and privately prepare for your potential purgation?

At 40:50 – You’re a Democratic celebrity. During a 2016 Presidential Election Postmortem, Michael Moore told CNN”s Don Lemon, “Democrats need to start running people who are inspiring. The Republicans, they run Ronald Reagan. They run Schwarzenegger. Why aren’t we running Tom Hanks or Oprah? I don’t say that as a joke. Why don’t we run people that are beloved by the American people?” What PR moves can you make to dodge the 2020 Presidential draft without being blamed for destroying the Democratic party?

At 45:05 – You’re Wanda Sykes. At a TD Garden Cancer Fundraiser last Saturday in Boston, your comedy set included your thoughts on the US Presidential Election results, “I am certain this is not the first time we’ve elected a racist, sexist, homophobic president…He ain’t the first one. He’s just the first confirmed one.” Thousands of boos blanketed the arena and you replied by flipping off and f-bombing the crowd. How do you use the video and press coverage to turn your frown upside down?

At 54:08 – You’re Donald Trump. When CBS News announced that your transition team has a “new deal” for African-Americans with a “plan for urban renewal”, initial resistance didn’t come from the racist bullies who thought you’d sold them out. It came from Democrats who were outraged that your surrogates gave the ten-point plan to Mediatakeout, a black gossip website, instead of a traditional media outlet. Trumpsplain the PR behind this PR.

At 59:18 – TEACHABLE MOMENT: You’re a major news publication. A British parent penned an open letter on Facebook to Lego about its brand values clashing with, and increasing circulation of, the Daily Mail’s headlines “creating distrust of foreigners, blaming immigrants for everything” and “having a go at gay judges”. Lego responded on Twitter: “We have finished the agreement with The Daily Mail and are not planning any future promotional activity with the newspaper.” With attention towards media complicity in dividing the citizenry, is it time to return to elegant wording…for a more civilized age? Or is there too much money in being a wretched hive of scum and villainy?

At 49:07 – NEW FEATURE: KID NATE’S HEEL TURN

At 1:02:57 – REGULAR FEATURE: EUGENE’S LOST BATTALION

Enjoy!