Hayden Panettiere is opening up about the sudden loss of her brother, Jansen, who died at age 28 last year.
In an interview with People for its cover this week, the Scream actress got candid about what she went through following his unexpected death in 2023 from an enlarged heart coupled with aortic valve complications.
“He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him,” she told the publication. “When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.”
Soon after, Panettiere decided she didn’t want to leave the house, especially after paparazzi followed her in the days after his death, going as far as to photograph her at his funeral.
“I had to see horrific paparazzi pictures of myself coming out of Jansen’s funeral, which happened in a very private place, and it was shocking,” she said. “My agoraphobia came out, which is something I’ve struggled with in the past.”
The Heroes actress explained that she experienced rapid weight gain and “ballooned out.” It diminished her self-esteem because she “didn’t feel confident” putting on clothes and getting out of the house, but she knew she had to do so or she’d “never stop looking and feeling this way.”
“It became a destructive hamster wheel of, do I feel good enough to go out?” she added.
Panettiere’s publicist helped her get out of the rut when she introduced her to personal trainer Marnie Alton, and everything began changing for the better. She and Alton had an immediate trust and connection, and the actress began training. They’d take long walks where they’d talk and essentially have a therapy session while working out.
The Nashville star noted that her body started reacting to the changes, not only by getting more fit but also by allowing her to release the stress and expectations she put on herself.
In learning to live with the loss of her little brother, the actress has gained a new perspective on life in general, pointing out it has helped her pick her fights and not let little things upset her. “Because once something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there’s not much that can really rock you,” she said.
Up next, Panettiere stars alongside Abbott Elementary standout Tyler James Williams in Amber Alert, which follows a rideshare trip that turns into a high-stakes game of cat and mouse as the duo go after a car fitting the description of, well, an Amber Alert. While she’s looking forward to the release of the film on demand and in theaters Sept. 27, it doesn’t mean she’s fully healed from her brother’s death.
“I will always be heartbroken about it. I will never be able to get over it,” she said. “No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss.”