Trying to get an Aussie to open up is about as easy as trying to get a foreigner to try Vegemite.

As someone who’s grown up with more internet friends than IRL ones, I’ve constantly been in contact with people who live in different countries and essentially live and breathe different cultures to me.


Fox

Through these experiences I’ve noticed quite a bit of discrepancy around what building friendships is like in Australia versus places like the USA.


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This isn’t to say I don’t have an abundance of friendships here in Australia — and incredible friends at that, but it seems that making and maintaining those kinds of relationships are a little different here than they are in some other countries. 

From the people I’ve spoken to and what I’ve read online, it seems like I’m not the only one who’s had these experiences.


Network Ten

I’m not saying that I’m not part of the problem — the only time I’ve really made friends in Australia is through work and school — and really, those friendships don’t seem to extend beyond those spaces. And making new friendships outside of those circles feels overwhelming and not quite worth the effort.

Of course I’ve met plenty of wonderful people that I count as close friends in Australia — but our friendships are nowhere near as involved or consistent as the ones I’ve made overseas.


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These friendships were either made in school, university or in one of the few jobs I’ve had in the past — and they were far easier to nurture when we were forced to see one another all the time. Now? Not so much.

I even speak to most of my long-distance friends on a regular basis despite the fact that we can’t actually see one another face-to-face — whereas I only really see or speak with my friends in Australia once or twice a year.


E!

Between work and familial obligations, it seems hard to find the time or energy to maintain those friendships on a regular basis. When things are starting to feel a little busy, I tend to put those relationships on the back-burner to focus on my other commitments.

When I lived in the USA — or even when I visit, the energy around spending time with friends feels far easier and everyone seems to want to make time for it. Making plans with friends in Australia feels impossible at the best of times.


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Everyone has some other obligation that clashes with the date suggested — or they simply can’t be bothered and would prefer to spend the limited free time they have focused on recharging solo, which is entirely valid. 

Even making friends overseas seems a lot easier than it does here at home. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve walked into a bar or party overseas and sparked conversations and subsequent friendships with strangers. Here, everyone sticks very close to their circle or the people they’re with.


Fox

I understand that it can feel a lot easier to stick with people you’re familiar with. Before I was used to socialising overseas, I’d be sure to stick by someone I knew and focus on interacting with them. Now, I’m far more open to having deep conversations with strangers and learning all about them in one night — then even making plans to have breakfast the following morning! I’ve never been able to replicate those kinds of interactions in Australia.

In fact, I’ve had more conversations with strangers on the street in the USA than I have with strangers at actual social events in Australia.


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When I do manage to have an interaction with someone at home, it feels incredibly dry and surface level compared to those I have with foreigners. This makes it incredibly difficult to want to make future plans or even find a way to keep in touch with them and potentially build a friendship. 

So I’m genuinely curious — have any of you had the same experiences? Or do you have any tips for how to actually make friends beyond your social circle in Australia?

Let us know in the comments! 

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